I feel a little directionless right now. Actually, to more accurately describe it I guess I should say that I'm confused as to which direction to take.
I am a young, stay-at-home mother of young children who has just had this life-changing experience by carrying and then holding one of Heavenly Father's choicest children.
And yet, here I sit, a young, stay-at-home mother of young children, doing the exact same things I did before Emma entered our lives. I feel like life should be different. More than that, I think I want life to be different. But I just don't know. Where do I go from here?
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
New Here?
Welcome to Emma's Story. It all began in June of 2008 when my husband and I found out that our family of four was going to become a family of five. Things took a drastic turn, however, when in September of 2008 our baby girl was diagnosed with anencephaly.
We had people across the world praying for us and for Emma that God would provide us with a miracle and that baby Emma would be born alive and be able to spend just a few moments with us. However, Heavenly Father had a different plan in mind and Emma died during labor and was born in the evening of the 15th of January.
However, we have learned that the true miracle lies in the Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ and in eternal families.
If you have any questions, comments, stories, or anything else, you can contact us at EmmasStory@gmail.com. Thank you for traveling this journey with us.
We had people across the world praying for us and for Emma that God would provide us with a miracle and that baby Emma would be born alive and be able to spend just a few moments with us. However, Heavenly Father had a different plan in mind and Emma died during labor and was born in the evening of the 15th of January.
However, we have learned that the true miracle lies in the Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ and in eternal families.
If you have any questions, comments, stories, or anything else, you can contact us at EmmasStory@gmail.com. Thank you for traveling this journey with us.
These People Helped Me Thank You
Emma is Loved
Our Little Emma
What is Anencephaly?
Anencephaly is a defect in the closure of the neural tube during fetal development. The neural tube is a narrow channel that folds and closes between the 3rd and 4th weeks of pregnancy to form the brain and spinal cord of the embryo. Anencephaly occurs when the "cephalic" or head end of the neural tube fails to close, resulting in the absence of a major portion of the brain, skull, and scalp. Infants with this disorder are born without a forebrain (the front part of the brain) and a cerebrum (the thinking and coordinating part of the brain). The remaining brain tissue is often exposed--not covered by bone or skin. A baby born with anencephaly is usually blind, deaf, unconscious, and unable to feel pain. Although some individuals with anencephaly may be born with a rudimentary brain stem, the lack of a functioning cerebrum permanently rules out the possibility of ever gaining consciousness. Reflex actions such as breathing and responses to sound or touch may occur.
Taken from the NINDS Anencephaly Information Page (http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/anencephaly/anencephaly.htm)
Taken from the NINDS Anencephaly Information Page (http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/anencephaly/anencephaly.htm)
Helpful Links
Blog Archive
-
▼
2009
(70)
-
▼
January
(21)
- I'm a Winner!
- What Now?
- I've been feeling extremely grateful lately. Here ...
- The Little Things
- My Musings
- Talk About a Pick Me Up
- Emma
- Day One
- In Remembrance of Emma Charity Bishop
- Emma's Memorial Service
- Our Beautiful Angel
- Emma Charity Bishop
- A short update
- One More Angel in Heaven
- In the hospital - by Tim
- They're Coming!
- We've Been Scheduled
- Emma's Prayer Shower
- Letter to Emma
- Look Who's Getting Big!
- Prayer Shower
-
▼
January
(21)
Posts
9 comments:
When you feel ready, you can help others in a similar or same situation. I'm sure you'd be great at volunteering in some way to help others. That can also help you deal with your pain.But, make sure you take care of yourself and help yourself, first. Seek guidance from your Bishop, and through Priesthood blessings. My heart goes out to you--I can see how you would be feeling this way. Although I haven't had your experiences, I feel that if I had, I'd feel similarly. Know that you are thought of and prayed for.
Hey Tiffany, this is Kim. We met (once) at Jill's baby shower, we shared the same due date and sat together. I liked you from the moment i met you. My heart has been broken for you as i learned the dificult journey you were being made to take. Your question, "what now?" is a good one. My husband & i have been married 6yrs and are about to have our 1st biological child. We had 6 failed fertility attempts, a miscarriage, & a failed adoption all before getting Dresden. All I learned was that SOMEHOW life does goes on, day by day, little by little and there is joy in store. More joy than we can imagine. We never leave our pain, we carry it with us but it makes us who we are. We are more compassionate, more empathetic, and better listeners, to ourselves, & to others. You are a woman of great faith and couage. i wish you and your family the peace that only the gospel can bring. Love, Kim
Tiffany ~ I think it must be all part of that empty feeling after you lose someone dear to you. Emma has taken a part of you with her and it will take time to heal. Just keep doing what you're doing -- being the best mom and wife you can be, and soon the emptiness will heal, and you can feel like you can function again. Take time for yourself. If you don't win the makeover, do something for yourself anyway!! Go out and get your hair done!! Do something to pamper yourself...you deserve it!! Love you!!
Tiffany - We don't know each other. I am an old friend of McKennas and I read about you on her blog. I don't have any advice for you, but if it helps, know that you are strengthening others through your example of amazing faith. I will forever be inspired by you, even though we've never met. Thank you! You will be in my prayers.
Hi Tiffany,
We too have never met but somehow I found your blog and I am in awe at your strength and your testimony. One of my favorite scriptures is "Be Still and know that I am God." I think that as you are still Heavenly Father will tell you what to do and how to continue to make a difference in the lives of others and how to proceed with yours! Sometimes as we are on the path we don't see the direction until way into our journey - but looking back we see the direction clearly and it is comfortable and peaceful. My prayers are with you :)
I'm not sure if this will help at all, but I think you should get in your car and come over to my house!
Tiffany,
That's interesting that you feel that way. When we went through all of our 'stuff' with Brent, I felt the same way. I keep feeling like I learned so much, and could help others, but what do I do with it? Where do I go from here? Everyone kept saying that because of Brent and the miracles that we experienced we were able to touch many people's lives. But certainly that can't be all can it? I guess I just wanted to say I feel the same way you do. Thanks for sharing everything with us.
Hugs Tiffany. I don't know if it is part of it, but you are also getting to deal with postpartum hormones while dealing with grief and loss. You are a strong woman. You will figure it out.
I truly think that is a natural part of the grieving process. Life has changed for you dramatically and it almost doesn't seem right that life just go on as "normal." It feels like life should almost stop somehow, and that it should be changed and different. It doesn't seem fair that everyone else gets to go on with their lives and for you to not know where to go from here. When we lost our little boy, I felt the same way. I felt angry that everyone else got to go on and that life didn't just stop. You know it has to go on and it is good that it does, but in the mean time it feels very strange and not right. Hang in there. It will get better. It probably doesn't feel like it right now, but life will get better and somehow you will go on. You will forever be changed. Your heart is changed, the way you think about things is changed, but you will be more empathatic to others that are hurting. I hope it gives you strength to know that many people are praying for you and your family. The biggest thing I would say is that you deserve to give yourself lots of time to heal, grieve, and get through this. Don't rush. Take care of yourself. Cry when you need to. Take time to go through the grieving process. It has many levels and you need to not rush through it. May the Lord bless you and give you strength!
Post a Comment