Thursday, January 15, 2009

One More Angel in Heaven

Emma left us this morning. At 3:30 am the nurse noticed the heart rate lower than it should be. She spoke with the doctor and they were going to ease off on the inducing medication. Then at 4:00 she couldn't find the heart beat with the little belly monitor. She brought in the ultrasound machine and found that Emma's heart had slowed to about 40 beats per minute and the beats were only feeble attempts of the muscle to keep going. The pressures of labor were too much for her little heart, and Emma gave one parting kick to her mom.


Tiffany and I are heart-broken but peaceful. There isn't a lot to say, except that we thank our Father in Heaven, who is God of all, for the great blessing it has been to grow up a little with little baby Emma.


We want to thank everyone for their prayers; they are felt. They have not gone unheard or unanswered.


I found a poem the other day, for which I am also thankful, a portion of it I leave here now:


The Earth would be dreary without them,

The world all a desolate waste,

What wonder bright angels about them,

Call home to the Father in haste?

Oh mothers! Your treasures most holy

Which seem not a virtue to lack,

Almost like, “The Lamb” meek and lowly—

What wonder God wishes them back?


What wonder he chooses the purest,

The happiest, dearest, most blest?

In His home all things must be surest—

He wants but the truest and best.

He plans for us Immortal pleasures,

As emblems our babies are giv'n,

He kindly secures us our treasures—

He knows we should want them in heaven.


Oh! The children! Our light and our blessings,

Without them the world would be nought;

Through natures rich chambers and dressings

Would sweetness all vainly be sought:

Our hopes and delights were all riven,

We should know only doubt and despair—

Who would ask for a portion in heaven,

If children were not there?


And this snippet from another poem by the same author:


We can live though bereft of the blessings,

Which seem more than half of our lives;

The babies, the youths and the maidens,

Even parents and husbands and wives;

Our prophets indeed may be taken

And we bow ‘neath the chastening rod,

‘Till the blessed, sweet Comforter cometh—

We can do without all but our God!

35 comments:

SHILLIG4FAMILY said...

thank you for teaching me so much. much love to y'all and your precious emma.

Hyrum and Kiera said...

I'm very sorry for your loss, Tiffany. I love you very much and hope that you know how much your journey has helped me grow and mature and be grateful for my many blessings. I love you.

romanmegga said...

Psalm 34:18 I am sorry for your loss, the Lord is close to you and Emma has been HEALED on the other side of Heaven Praise the Lord!

Jennifer Rose said...

Our prayers are with you. Thank you for your beautiful example.

Janae said...

I am so sorry for your loss. You are an example of faith.

Grandma Rozla said...

I came into your journey in the middle - My heart aches for you this morning! May the Lord's greatest Tender Mercies be yours as you go through the coming days. Thanks for sharing your journey and for helping my testimony to grow!

Steffani said...

Tim and Tiffany, thank you so much for your simple faith and example. I came across your blog through Kristen's facebook and it has touched me deeply. I continue to pray that the peace you feel will sustain you and your family through the days, weeks, and years ahead with the knowledge that one day you will see your beautiful daughter again. Thank you again for your testimony and example!

Chantelle said...

((Hugs))

mandy said...

You don't know me but I am friends with Caroline Shillig. I am so sorry for your loss. You will be on our prayers. I pray that you will see the "Hand of God in your life" in the next little while.

KMDuff said...

Prayers and hugs for your family.

lisa moore said...

Know that our prayers are not stopping now, but will continue for you as you deal with your loss. You guys are amazing and have been such an example to all of us. Thank you for sharing baby Emma with us.

Holly said...

I'm sorry she left before you could meet her living outside your tummy. I know she will be just beautiful when you do meet. Thinking and praying for you.

Anonymous said...

Tim and Tiffany, you'll be in our prayers.

- Emily and Matt M.

Janice Adams said...

I cry for you. I pray for you. You are loved1

Josie said...

Sweet Emma has blessed all our lives. You're in our prayers.

Mac said...

We haven't stopped thinking of you all week and we are so sorry now to hear of your loss. So strange that a little girl we've never met could affect us all so poignantly. Her time with you has made the world a little better...has made us all a little better.
Know that you're still in our prayers and thoughts.

Jethro said...

Tim and Tiffany,

We love you guys. Let us know if you need anything.

Anonymous said...

Dear Tim and Tiffany,
I'm so sorry you weren't able to hold her alive. My heart aches for your broken hearts. I will be praying for you all day. With all my love and heart,
Janae C.

Claudine said...

The sorrow you feel today will be replaced with unbelievable joy when you meet your Emma again. Thank for your example and sharing your boys with our ward. Peter was always a joy when I was with him in Nursery.

Trish said...

Dear Tiffany and Tim,

Erika just called with the news. My heart goes out to you both. I can't begin to imagine how difficult this whole process has been. Please know that I'm so proud of you both--your faith, love, optimism, and willingness to accept those things we can't control. Your journey has been a source of tremendous inspiration and a testament to all that is good and holy in this world.

With all my love,

Trish

The Uffens Family said...

We're so sorry to hear of your loss this morning - we're so touched by your testimonies of the gospel. I'm so glad that your family could be there for support, and pray the comfort of the Lord to attend you all.

Lynette and Brad said...

All the comments above bring together what I feel right now. I'm so sad that you were not able to experience the world with Emma, but someday you will know why. Thank goodness for Heavenly Father's marvelous plan. Your little family, and especially you, Tiffany, are so much my hero. Thank you for sharing your experience with Emma with us. We have almost grown to love her, too. Our prayers are with you. Hang in there...we love you!!

whitney.evan said...

Tim & Tiffany-We love you and pray for you. You guys are an inspiration to me. Thank you for sharing so much of this experience with everyone. I have grown from it and learned much about appreciating my blessings. Dear sweet Emma will always have a place in my heart. Thanks for allowing all of us to love her too.
Whitney & Evan

Brad, Debbie, and K squared said...

Thank you for sharing that poem, it was beautiful. We know we live far away, but please let us know if there is anything we can do for you. We love you guys!

Emily said...

I've been wondering and thinking about you all week and am so sorry to hear that Emma is gone, especially before you were able to see her. Her story and yours have been so inspiring and faith-promoting (and heart-wrenching) Our thoughts and prayers are with you. The poems were beautiful, thank you for sharing them. I wish you much comfort and peace through this difficult and sacred time. Families truly are Forever, I know it means so much more to you now.

Christy said...

Thank you for sharing this story with us. You are so inspiring, and I know that so many blessings will come to your family.

Daniel Hunter said...

My heart aches for you as well. You have been so strong and such great examples through all of this.

joyce said...

Thanks for sharing Emma with me. You and your family has blessed me. I am sorry and my prayers are with you in the following weeks. Love Joyce and family

Melanie said...

My heart has been aching and heavy for you since my sister called to tell me about your little Emma. I'm so grateful that your family can surround you. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Anna said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I've been reading the blog and think that you both have documented everything in such a beautiful way - with respect to your baby girl. Thank you for sharing. Emma has touched many lives.

Myah said...

I am so sorry, Tiffany. I don't think I've ever cried so much for someone I've never met. I guess I felt like I knew Emma... and I feel a connection because Faith is expected to go to Heaven in a few weeks too. I am so sorry that Emma couldn't be born alive :'( I don't know why sometimes we pray so hard for something and God doesn't allow it. All I know is, she is now safe with Him. You are on my heart and in my prayers, Tiffany.

Bryan and Lis said...

We are so sorry for your loss. You may not remember us, but we were in the BYU 145th Ward with you and Laura Ward had told us about your blog about Emma. We've been following your progress and keeping you in our prayers. We know the Lord loves you and we pray that you may feel comforted and peaceful during this time. May God continue to bless you and your family.

gerald said...

The time in the hospital last night truly was sacred. Emma C Bishop has blessed our lives. We feel the miracle of life with every birth, and Father's hand in our every aspect of our lives. The fact that Emma left a few hours before we physically met her, does not diminish her inspiration in our life, but rather intensifies it. We want to be better people, to have more understanding, empathy, and yes, CHARITY. We love you Tiffany, Tim and Emma. We want to live so that we can get to know Emma better when we have the privilege of passing into her world.

Heather said...

I am sorry for you loss and you are in our prayers.

Kayleen said...

Finding joy in the journey is a little more difficult in this situation but I found it much sweeter when found. Thank you both for letting us come along.