I'll begin by letting you know that I got my feelings hurt and I'm not very happy about it. From that statement, you can choose whether or not you want to read the rest.
As in most situations where there's something "different," you can expect that people will say things that are unintentionally hurtful. I started to expect it soon after we found out about Emma. There have been one or two things said to me that I've thought, I would've preferred they had not said that, but other than that there wasn't really anything that really bugged me until today.
Last night I went to join two different anencephaly yahoo support groups. I still have so many questions that I just can not find answers to and I feel like the best resource is going to be those who have gone through the same thing. While there are several different anencephaly support groups, these are both for mothers who have decided to not abort their pregnancies. Before you can join you have to be approved by their group moderators. It makes sense to me - it's a very sensitive issue and you only want people who are going to support and uplift each other. So I had to give them some information about Emma and I before they would approve me. Today I got emails back from both of the group moderators. One accepted me and said she was sorry that I had a reason to join their group but hoped I could find great comfort out of that group.
My approval is still pending. This is what has really hurt me. Apparently, because we're planning on inducing me at 35 weeks, I don't qualify as a mother with an anencephalic baby who is choosing to still carry her. I need to carry to at least 36 weeks to qualify. If I can explain my situation better, I might be allowed into their group.
You might be thinking, how did that upset her? And I don't know how to explain it any better, just know that it did.
I don't think I'm going to reply. My first reaction was to reply back about how I was just as good as of mother as anyone else and she had no right to not let me into their "mommy and me" group. But then I thought about it and realized that she's probably the moderator because she's been there too and I don't want to make anyone else's life harder by being mean to them.
In trying to see the positive side of things, it did remind me that Tim and I need to make this 35 week thing a matter of prayer. Which was our intent from the start, but I had been waiting to make sure that the doctor was on the same page first.
I'm glad the other group welcomed me in with loving arms. I plan to use them as a great and helpful tool and resource.