Thursday, October 16, 2008

Angel Watch

Angel Watch is different than the Angel Garden. Angel Watch is a program run in Utah by IHC that is a grievance support of sorts. We met with them earlier this week. We met with Carolyn, who seems to be in charge of the program, and then Heather, the grievance counselor for the hospital I'm going to deliver at, and Marilyn, a nurse at the hospital I'm going to deliver at.

At first I was a little hesitant that they would come and say, "what can we do for you?" and I'd say, "I don't know." And that would be that. But I liked it much more than I thought.

We first did introductions, with Tim's and my introductions being a little more in depth than theirs were. Then they asked us about any traumatic events in our lifetimes. At first I felt dumb saying this, but I told them that my dad almost died. After I explained to them about him being in and out of the hospital several times and getting phone calls a couple of different times telling my mom to rush to the hospital because he was dying, they understood a bit more what I meant and I didn't feel so dumb about it. But other than that, I really haven't had much.

After we talked about our past experiences, we talked about our greatest fears and our greatest hopes in regards to Emma's situation. If he wants to, I'll let Tim share his thoughts. But my greatest fear is not just that Emma will be stillborn, but more that she won't be recognized as much as part of our family if she is stillborn. I'm already so attached and so in love with her that I don't think I could handle people just passing her off as a stillborn. So on the flip side, my greatest hope is that she'll be born alive. (I should add in that Heather has the same doctor as me and she said that he is one of, if not the best in the area for high-risk pregnancies).

Our time with them was cut a little short because Tim had to get back to school, but it was good and we set up another time to meet with them. They also left us with some things, one of which is a guide to making our birth plan. I never made one with either one of my boys because I didn't feel a need to do so. I didn't feel strongly that something had to be this way or else and I trusted my doctors and nurses enough to help me make decisions if they were to arise. With Emma, however, I do intend to make a birth plan. Because it is such a high-risk situation, I want everyone to be on the same page as Tim and I (which should be on the same page as our Father in Heaven).

I was glad we met with them and I would recommend them to anyone in Utah.


Emily said...

I know you don't know me, but I have been following your blog for a few weeks now. I am so sorry about your situation. I too, know that Heavenly Father has a will for us. I know that we all agreed before we came here to this earth what challenges we would be faced with and accepted them. I know that doesn't make it better, but it does help us to remember that we are not given anything we can not handle. I have also been following another blog, that faced a similar situation. I found it inspiring. Although, they are not of our faith, it brought me closer to our Savior, through her strength and faith. Maybe you can find some comfort in her experience. The website is Thanks for sharing your story. Just know that there are many of us praying for you and your family.
-Emily from Wyoming


I am glad that support group was so much better than you expected.

Kayleen said...

Just so you know....she is apart of the family no matter what happens legally.

Andi said...

I agree totally with Kayleen. Stillborn or not, she is Emma Bishop, our first granddaughter, and we always think of her that way. We love Emma and her parents very much.

Eli said...

I agree with the previous comments. She has come alive to all of us, all over the country through this blog. No matter what happens with the birth, I feel that I have known her in a way also. Hang in there.

Tara Belnap said...

Emma is so precious

KMDuff said...

Hugs for you. You love her, she is part of your family now and always will be. I thought you might like to read this link: