Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Slowly Preparing

There have been so many little things that we've been doing/have gotten done that I think have helped us along in the slowly preparing for Emma. Here's a list of a few of them.
  • Met with a guy from a mortuary (I don't think he was a mortician, so I don't know what else to call him). We really want to have most things done before Emma comes, so that's why we met him kind of early. It was a good meeting though. He helped us understand a bit more about what all happens and what our different options are. They also don't charge us for any of their services. Basically we just have to pay for Emma's casket. We're definitely grateful for that. As far as planning for things, I keep going back on forth and whether to do a funeral service or a graveside service.
  • Received some preemie clothes. I'm a member of a Yahoo group called Freecycle. It's a local group where people post things that they are getting rid of and other people can email them and say they'd like to come get them from them. We've gotten quite a few cool things this way. A couple of weeks ago, someone posted about preemie girl clothes. I emailed her and said I'd be interested and she told me to come pick them up. Now we have a preemie sleeper and two preemie dresses. I wonder if they'll all be too big for Emma still, but I think some of them will work. Also, Heather (the bereavement specialist that we've met with through Angel Watch) said she always has a variety of preemie clothes with her, so when she comes to the hospital if what we have doesn't work, she'll find something else for Emma.
  • We're taking maternity photos on Saturday. I know it's still kind of early, and for those of you who have seen me, I'm definitely not huge (although I do think that I am definitely pregnant looking), but there is still the chance that Emma could pass away any day, so we'd like to get them taken sooner rather than later. We contacted Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep (aka NILMDTS), a non-profit photography organization that matches photographers with families who have received a poor pre-natal diagnosis. So she'll come and take maternity photos and then she'll also come to the hospital after Emma is born to take pictures then as well. Then she gives us a CD of the pictures for free. Funny thing, as I've been communicating with her and gave her my address recently (we're doing the maternity shots at our house), we realized that we lived right around the corner from each other. She lives literally a block away!
  • Trying to show Heavenly Father that we are willing to do whatever it takes for the blessing of this little girl. Heavenly Father keeps reminding me that I need to put my trust fully in him and then do all that I can do. It's hard, but I keep trying.
  • Looking at pictures of anencephalic babies. Most especially, I finally looked at a picture of the opening on the head. It wasn't as bad as I had thought, but I also saw the small thumbnail picture before I saw the big one, so I don't know if that made a difference. When Tim and I originally tried to plan out how we imagined Emma's birth going, we decided we wanted her gently wiped off, wrapped in a blanket, cap put on her head, and then handed to us. But I was talking to another mother who had a baby with anencephaly and she said her baby was born with a faltering heartbeat and struggling to breathe. They knew they didn't have much time so they had him handed directly to them. He ended up living for 11 minutes. This experience of this sweet mother has made us consider the option of having Emma handed to us right away and then having her wiped off, wrapped, covered, etc. while holding her. So in order to prepare, I've decided to start looking at the pictures of the head openings.

I'm sure there are more things, but that's what I've got for now. My heart continues to be grateful to all of you for your love and support. It is such a strength to us. Thank you!


Kim said...

I've been to a graveside service and a memorial/funeral service for babies that suddenly passed away while in the womb and close to their due dates. Both of them were really good. You could maybe do a funeral type thing and talk about the plan of salvation and then have a dedication on the grave. It's going to be cold outside in January and I don't know how long you'd want to stand outside. Anyways, just thought I'd share. Take care, we're thinking about you guys.


we are grateful to be included in your journey. I feel I say this all the time but I have learned so much from you!

David&Deena said...

Just checked in to see how you are doing and feel a strength from you that is quite special. Bless you as you continue down this road. Love The CHristensen's

Danielle said...

I don't know if you have looked into other possibilities, but I know caskets can be really expensive, and usually a lot more expensive at places like mortuaries. I would be happy to research it for you, if you're interested.

Andi said...

This post made me decide to start looking at some head pictures too. I even watched a short YouTube scene of an anencephalic baby right after delivery. It's not easy to see, but the shock is probably better now than later.

c hanson said...

I guess I'm going to comment a lot today, but one thing really stood out to me in this post. These are hard things to talk about for me, but just from experience, I would have Emma handed directly to you. You won't want to miss a second of her little spirit being there with you.