Monday, November 3, 2008

Big Baby

While Emma's not a big baby, I sure am.

Was anyone else like me when they were younger and had to talk to a teacher about something less than ideal and would break down and cry...every time? For example, if I had done an assignment wrong and I went to talk to my teacher about it, I couldn't help but cry. I had left my homework at home...I would cry when telling the teacher. Another kid had pushed me...I would cry when telling the teacher.

Eventually I grew out of this stage (or so I thought).

Ever since we found out about Emma's diagnosis, I can not contain myself when I go in for check-ups with my doctor. Today I had tons of questions to talk with him about and as soon as I started to ask the first question, the tears came aflowing. It's not so much that it's embarrassing, but I can't get through everything I want to.

When I made the appointment for my next doctor's visit, I made sure it was at a time that Tim could go with me. That way if I start to lose it, he can still communicate with the doctor.

But...as far as my doctor's appointment today, things are looking good. My blood pressure and weight gain are right where they should be. Emma's heartbeat is still going strong and my uterus is measuring small. My uterus measuring small is a very good thing in this case, considering we already know that Emma is small. If my uterus was measuring normal or big, it would possibly mean that Emma does not have the swallowing reflex and too much amniotic fluid would be building up inside of me. While it's still a possibility that this could develop (and I'm not really sure how or why - maybe she just loses the reflex?), the later it develops the better. I'm at 24 weeks and 6 days and I was measuring 22 cm (a normal measurement would have been just shy of 25 cm).

While we didn't get everything discussed that I had hoped (thanks to my non-controllable blubbering), we were able to discuss the birth plan that Tim and I wrote up. He had some comments on a few of the items, so Tim and I will have more to discuss still. We meet with some people from Angel Watch again next week, and hopefully we'll be able to discuss with them (since one of them is a labor and delivery nurse from our hospital) more about our birth plan.

2 comments:

Kim said...

I know how you feel. If I get mad I cry, or embarrassed I cry. If Tim can't go with you to your next appointment you should just take note cards with your questions on them and just had them to the doctor:) We're glad that everything is going as good as it can be.

Emily Averett said...

I'm a baby too and always, always have the uncontrollable need to cry in awkward or maybe I'm in trouble or I have to tell you something hard situations. Even if I steele myself and concentrate really hard on it before and during, the tears still rear their ugly head. You know that nasty cry face? It ain't pretty! I totally agree with the previous comment about writing your questions down and just handing over the list to your doctor, sparing the need to try to communicate through tears...I think you're really brave and I think this blog is very meaningful and will be helpful to so many people who will go through this same thing in the future. You're doing a wonderful job with it. I think of you often and speaking of crying, I even cried the other day while telling a close friend about your post on Emma's name and it's meaning. Thank you for sharing.