January 15 Part 2

We were woken up around 7 am when my doctor came in to check on us. We now had a new nurse, Marilyn, but this was the nurse that we had met with before in our meetings with Angel Watch. I think I was dialated to a 1 or a 2, so the doctor decided that we would stop with the cytotech and do something else. I'm not quite sure what everything is called, but the essence is that they stuck a catheter in me that had a balloon on it. They then inflated the balloon once it was inside of me. Since Emma did not have the head pressure of most babies, this was to assist in putting pressure on my cervix from the inside.

At this time, we decided to call our families and to tell them. Tim was in charge of informing his family and I was in charge of informing my family. My mom didn't answer her phone, so I next tried my sister Erika. She didn't answer either but called me right back. I broke down in tears as I told her, "it's done." Quickly realizing that this didn't explain much, I told her that Emma was still inside of me, but that she had already passed away.

Honestly, I hated making that statement. It was still such heartbreaking news for me, but I also knew that it would be heartbreaking for others as the word was passed around. I asked my sister to make sure that the rest of my family was informed.

Tim then posted here on our blog that Emma had died. He had actually written the post soon after the actual passing happened, but when we decided to hold off on calling our families, we also decided to hold off on posting about it.

Soon after our immediate families were informed, family visitors started to arrive. We laughed and we cried together. I am so grateful for what wonderful families Tim and I come from. The atmosphere was peaceful, reverent, and respectful, but also one filled with happiness, laughter, and joy.

My mom stayed the rest of the day with us in the hospital room while other family members came and went. It was nice because I didn't really feel like being alone, but that way Tim could go get something to eat for breakfast and lunch without leaving me by myself. My mom was also able to go and get things to eat as well.

Things throughout the day progressed, but very slowly. I varied in my emotional and physical strength. As you can see from the other posts, neither Tim nor I got a good night's rest. Maybe two hours here, an hour there, 30 minutes there, and that was probably it. So I dozed on and off throughout the day. Additionally, I really just don't like epidurals. While it was so nice not to be in extreme pain, I was still in some pain from all of the cramping and I was quite uncomfortable. I probably had Tim help me flip over to my other side every half hour in order to try to get a little more comfortable. Oh, and by this point I was extremely hungry! I hadn't eaten since noon on Wednesday the 14th.

Throughout the day, I would also have Tim check this blog and read me some of the comments. As sad as the situation was, I don't think I can truly express how much the love and compassion and pure numbers from the comments uplifted me. It really lightened my heart to know how many people were praying for and thinking about us that day.

As late afternoon came, I finally was dialated to about a six, but my water had broken naturally, so we hoped that the labor would speed up a little. Also, the balloon catheter came out at that point because the balloon was now smaller than my cervix.

The majority of our families went home to go rest for a while and then to eat dinner. Around 4 I was dialated to about an 8 and then around 5 pm (24 hours since we had checked in) I was a 9, pushing 10. My mom called everyone to let them know that it was almost time. Around 5:15 I was dialated to a 10 and my doctor (who had been informed how close I was) arrived minutes later. My mom left the room to go join the rest of our family (who were eating pizza in the waiting area) and I got prepped to push.

My doctor realized how much pain I was still in however and called for the guy who gives epidurals (sorry, I'm not even going to attempt to spell it) to give me a second dose before I pushed. After I got that, my OB waited a little bit to let it get into my system. He went over with the nurse what they needed to do for the Duke Study while we waited. Finally, it was time to push. It only took a push or two to get Emma's head out. She was face up, but because of how small she was it didn't really matter. However, her shoulders did get stuck. So the doctor had to work a little to let her shoulders loose. But a couple of minutes and a few good pushes later, Emma Charity Bishop was delivered. Her delivery time was recorded as 5:33 pm.