Ever since I got over the initial shock of Emma's diagnosis, I have put my full faith and trust in Heavenly Father and His plan for us. Yes, I haven't been perfect all the time, but I really do believe that this is His plan for our family and that everything is in His hands.
Because of this, I've been hesitant to fully ask for what I want. When I say my prayers, whenever I ask a blessing to be upon Emma, I always quickly follow it up with something similar to "if it be Thy will." I know that it's the right thing that I'm doing by wanting Heavenly Father's will to be done. However, I feel like it retracts from my own honest desires.
Okay, this is probably not making any sense. So don't mind my ramblings and if nothing turns out to make sense.
I expressed my thoughts to Tim and he told me that he thinks it's more than okay to leave out the phrase "if it be Thy will." He says if that's what I truly desire, Heavenly Father knows that and that I've admitted it enough verbally already. But I was still hesitant to pray for what I truly desired without adding in any clauses at the end.
Tuesday afternoon (after our ultrasound) I was reading the Book of Mormon and kind of just pondering the entire situation. I only got in a few verses before one of my children woke up, but what I read hit me.
Moroni 7
26 ...Whatsoever thing ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is good, in faith believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be done unto you.
27 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, have miracles ceased because Christ hath ascended into heaven...?
29 ...have miracles ceased? Behold I say unto you, Nay; neither have angels ceased to minister unto the children of men.
33 And Christ hath said: If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me.
Emma already is our miracle. If you combine the in utero death rates of babies with anencephaly, babies with trisomy 13 or 18, babies with encephalocele, and babies with heart defects, Emma has a slim chance to be alive. Yet she is! She's our fighter, our survivor. And for that I am so grateful.
But I'm going to ask for one more miracle from Heavenly Father. With Heavenly Father knowing the intents of my heart, I'm going to ask for the miracle that she be born alive.
Because that truly would be a miracle.
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Welcome to Emma's Story. It all began in June of 2008 when my husband and I found out that our family of four was going to become a family of five. Things took a drastic turn, however, when in September of 2008 our baby girl was diagnosed with anencephaly.
We had people across the world praying for us and for Emma that God would provide us with a miracle and that baby Emma would be born alive and be able to spend just a few moments with us. However, Heavenly Father had a different plan in mind and Emma died during labor and was born in the evening of the 15th of January.
However, we have learned that the true miracle lies in the Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ and in eternal families.
If you have any questions, comments, stories, or anything else, you can contact us at EmmasStory@gmail.com. Thank you for traveling this journey with us.
We had people across the world praying for us and for Emma that God would provide us with a miracle and that baby Emma would be born alive and be able to spend just a few moments with us. However, Heavenly Father had a different plan in mind and Emma died during labor and was born in the evening of the 15th of January.
However, we have learned that the true miracle lies in the Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ and in eternal families.
If you have any questions, comments, stories, or anything else, you can contact us at EmmasStory@gmail.com. Thank you for traveling this journey with us.
These People Helped Me Thank You
Emma is Loved
Our Little Emma
What is Anencephaly?
Anencephaly is a defect in the closure of the neural tube during fetal development. The neural tube is a narrow channel that folds and closes between the 3rd and 4th weeks of pregnancy to form the brain and spinal cord of the embryo. Anencephaly occurs when the "cephalic" or head end of the neural tube fails to close, resulting in the absence of a major portion of the brain, skull, and scalp. Infants with this disorder are born without a forebrain (the front part of the brain) and a cerebrum (the thinking and coordinating part of the brain). The remaining brain tissue is often exposed--not covered by bone or skin. A baby born with anencephaly is usually blind, deaf, unconscious, and unable to feel pain. Although some individuals with anencephaly may be born with a rudimentary brain stem, the lack of a functioning cerebrum permanently rules out the possibility of ever gaining consciousness. Reflex actions such as breathing and responses to sound or touch may occur.
Taken from the NINDS Anencephaly Information Page (http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/anencephaly/anencephaly.htm)
Taken from the NINDS Anencephaly Information Page (http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/anencephaly/anencephaly.htm)
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8 comments:
And we will join our faith and prayers to yours, feeble though ours may be compared to yours, and perhaps Father will hear us as we plead unto Him in the name of our Advocate. Thank you, Tiffany, for your stirring example to me of how one should seek to endure, and seek to know the Father and the Son.
We will continue to pray for the same thing, knowing that prayer can be very powerful. It has occurred to me, though, that because of the things Emma has already accomplished in our extended family and the way she is helping us all become stronger and more in tune, I truly believe she has already established her eternal place as part of your family. I know Church doctrine is specific about babies who take at least a breath, and leaves the destiny of stillborns in the gray area, or open to individual revelation, but in this case, I have no worries either way: I can not believe anything other than the fact that Emma will be Emma Bishop, your oldest daughter, forever.
it would be a miracle, and we will pray for it too!!!
Tiffany- Thanks for your insights. You have really made me think about prayer and our role in asking for things. This is something I have thought about a lot, especially over the past year. I also feel that we should honestly ask for what we want, and the Lord really will answer our prayers. I feel that we should adopt a "but if not" attitude and this is where it can be difficult for me. Thanks for your example of faith.
Hey Tiffany,
You know how I feel about miracles. Without them I would be a very lonely person right now. :) Miracles can and do happen in our crazy world. We are still praying for your miracle to be able to see sweet Emma alive. Have a great Christmas. Your song was beautiful today. Thanks.
You amaze me, Tiffany. You simply amaze me. I need to be more like you.
The Lord knows the sincere desires of your heart.I think He will honor them. I think we can pray for miracles as long as we pray with the Sprit. D&C 48:30 He that asketh in the Spirit asketh according to the will of God wherefore it is done even as he asketh. There was a lady in my ward who was diagnosed with cancer and I remember praying not that she would be cured of her cancer but that she might at least be able to go to her daughter's wedding. a few months before the wedding she got better and was doing really well. several months after the wedding she became ill and later passed away.Heavenly father granted her that moment. I think He will do thesame for you
We just found out 2 weeks ago we are expecting a baby with Anencephaly in May of this year. I'm 25 weeks along now. How comforting to find your blog! I'm a Mormon Mom as well!
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